Wednesday, July 11, 2012


So you're probably all wondering, "Why is this post called 'Nipple'?" Well, let me tell you.

Michael and I were enjoying a normal afternoon after work. The pups were chillin', and I was getting ready to make dinner (yes, you read that correctly. I, Paola Black, was going to make dinner). As I'm getting the stove and crap ready, I look over at Luke and his ear is flipped up. I notice that it's super red and I go over to check him out and his ear is nasty red and swollen with nasty thick, white pus coming out of it (your welcome if you were eating while reading that). I check his other ear, and it seems fine, but I panic anyways and run to Michael in tears about how my dog is dying.

Michael, being the reasonable and level-headed spouse, checked out his ear and confirmed that it was nasty and infected. Well, while he was rubbing him to make him feel better, he felt something on his stomach and told me to check it out while he held Luke down. I go in and it looks like something black is sticking out of his stomach, so my first reaction is to scream and cry about how something is inside of him, eating him alive. Michael, rolling his eyes, checks on it and then tells me to get tweezers because he thinks it's a tick or something. Well, I go grab the tweezers and then Michael and I attempt to take that mother freakin nasty bug out of my baby boy.

No luck. The stupid thing is stubborn, and when we keep trying, it kept digging itself in his poor little stomach. After about a minute, I'm really freaking out and we call to find out where the emergency animal hospital is. Luckily, it's only a mere 30 minutes away! Waahooo!!! (please note the sarcasm).

When we finally get to the emergency hospital, they take my baby boy and start looking at him, but we can't actually be there to watch so I'm sitting in the waiting room, watching some stupid MTV show. Finally, after horrible suspense, the vet calls us into a room and brings him back. The vet comes in and starts talking about his ear infection and how Luke needs meds and I'm just like, "SHUT UP! WHAT ABOUT THE PARASITE THAT'S DIGGING INTO HIS BRAIN!?!?!??!" I didn't actually say anything, but i felt all that.

When the vet finally gets to the point of the creepy crawly, he's tells us that he couldn't find it, but that it sounds like he has something really bad and that if we popped it or burst the mother freaker, Luke could go into shock. You can imagine how I reacted...

Anywho, so the vet goes back and tries to find the nasty thing again, and we sit there and wait. This time he doesn't take too long coming back, and he brings Luke with him. Here is what he said: "You were actually ripping out his nipple".



I almost ripped my dogs nipple out.

The end.


  1. ow ow ow - poor little baby!!!!

  2. Hey Paola,

    I know it's been a while but I just happened to see your post to your blog on facebook and I just read this story. I must say, I laugh about it for probably an hour. Absolutely hilarious.

    Anyway, I wanted to say congrats on the new house and on the two very cute puppies. I hope you're doing well.

    Sara D.

  3. I'm sorry but this made my laugh out loud.