Tuesday, April 16, 2013

The Power of Women

I saw this awesome video today and couldn't help but share it:


It's the Dove Real Beauty Sketches campaign and I can't help but feel overwhelmed by how amazing this is.

I don't know why, but for the past couple of weeks I've just been thinking about how self-esteem, male or female, has been such a huge target. I guess working with 10-11 year old girls and boys at church, you really start to hear and see how the media affects them. You're probably thinking, "10 and 11 year olds? No way..." but honestly, they're not immune to the influences of TV or radio. Even with great parents who try their best to keep that crap away from them, they still see, hear, or watch things that form their young minds.

And what does the media teach us? Well, basically if you're not a size 2 (I think it's moved down to a size 16 in juniors... jk... but seriously), then your deemed fat, and if you're fat, you're ugly. For boys, if you're not huge and muscular and cut, then you're wimpy. If you don't do drugs and get high, then you're weird. And sex? Forget about it... it doesn't even matter if you're in love. You can apparently have sex with anyone at anytime because if you're not, then you're not living life.

I'm absolutely tired of this. Why is this the standard of beauty?

I'm pretty sure the doughnut in my stomach just exploded with agony. And because of that, I'll need to eat another one. They are so skinny! I feel like if the wind blew, their frail little arms and legs would flap around as their bodies took flight. Don't get me wrong, they are beautiful in their own right, but this is NOT the standard we should be setting for ourselves. I will never be that small, mainly because I DON'T want to be that small. Food is just too good.

Here is a "plus size model":

Seriously? That's my body type... but I'm not plus size. 

So what do we do about all of this? Do we just continue to tell ourselves that this new diet will work, or if I run 1298302 miles a day I'll be beautiful? As Big Sean so artfully said, "But the grass ain't always green on the otha side, it's green where you water it." We need to water the grass on our side. But how do we do that? 

We start a rebellion

Yup, a rebellion. We fight, because our enemy isn't going to let up unless we kick back. All rebellions start with a planted thought; something that takes a hold of you, and can't seem to leave you alone. What if that thought was that the media was wrong? What if I told you that no matter whether your thighs touched or not, you're beautiful. What if I told you that the media is wrong in telling you that the less clothes you wear, the more worth you are. Women shouldn't be walking around, wearing skimpy clothing to get attention. That's not the type of attention we deserve. We shouldn't be looked at by how we look, but by how we act. Our deeds, not the our style of clothing, should tell you what type of person we are. 

This isn't easy though; no rebellion is. It isn't easy to say that our love handles are beautiful. It isn't easy to say that our flabby arms are what we've always wanted. But what I've learned in life is that those things that are worth having, are always difficult to attain. Self-esteem is worth having. Waking up in the morning, staring at your make-up-less face and still believing you're beautiful is worth it.

Women are inherently beautiful, whether short, tall, round, skinny, freckled, curly, pear shaped, etc. We are beautiful because we each carry a light within us, a light no other person can claim or copy. We are all different shades, but just because my shade of light is different than the next persons, doesn't make my light any less bright or beautiful. We all need to shine our light out, and be obnoxiously proud of it. 

Imagine a world where all women shone brightly. Where young girls growing up were able to just be kids, not constantly bombarded with the heavy stress of having to "fit" into the mold. Where women around the world wake up every morning knowing their self worth, and where they went to bed knowing that their light made a difference, even if it was small. Where teens who are "finding themselves" don't need to turn to clicks and fashions to be able to define themselves. Where mothers see the changes in their bodies, and fall in love with every single stretch mark because making life is a gift uniquely theirs. Where matured women look into a mirror and feel pride instead of shame at the sight of a wrinkle. Each is earned, not just given. I bet anyone who looked at Earth from space would think it on fire from all the light. 

I love being a woman, for we are powerful, chaotic and impulsive creatures. We are sensitive, sympathetic, and kind. We are motherly, stern, and demanding. We are expectant, strong, and true. We are everything, and the world needs us. Our counterparts need us. Our children need us. Our families need us. Being called to this vocation is not an easy burden to bear, but it is one given to those who are strong enough for it. We all need to show this world what real women are like; we need to stand up and fight, saying no to the media's display of "feminism".   

Join the rebellion and start loving yourselves, because true happiness starts when you realize that you're your best advocate. 

Friday, October 19, 2012

Blessed Life

It's been a while, but I have a valid excuse!


It took months to finally close, so by the end we dumped Wells Fargo and got our loan completed through Bank of Arkansas. They were able to get everything done in a week. If you ever want to get a home loan, I don't recommend Wells Fargo.

Anywho, we moved in not last weekend, but the weekend before. These past couple of weeks have been stressful just trying to adjust to our new home, but slowly and surly we are moving in. I can't tell you how happy I am waking up in my new house, and that's saying something since I'm not a morning person. The dogs love it... but poor things, they love everything. They have adjusted well though, and the neighbors haven't banged on our door yet to tell us to shut them up. I know a time will come when that will happen, but it is not this day. (I hope you read that dramatically).

This is the main entry way to all the rooms. I love the arched entryways. 

We have this little area in the corner. 

Our kitchen. Luke, Leia, and Chewy all fit at the same time. I know this because they're ALWAYS in there begging for food. 

The bookcase is a built in one. I saw the picture frame set up from Pinterest. The photos in the frames around the "B" are currently empty. If I can ever get all three dogs to sit still for a picture, I might actually put something in there. 

I think I'm in love with this fridge. I open it and I swear I hear angels sing.

I took this picture the day we got our house keys :). Pretty sure I cried.

Our dining room.

Our living room. My favorite part is the view when the sun is going down. It really just makes the home feel warm and inviting. I love sitting on my sofa and relaxing after work. I can't wait till I can play with the fireplace.

Buhdahs (the pups). They love their backyard, and the neighborhood. Like I said, if I can ever get a normal picture with the three of them, I'm framing it. This is the best I've got so far.

This is supposed to be our "computer room", but we decided to make it our TV room. It's cozy.

Our front door. Believe it or not, I made that wreath!

     Our kitchen from another angle. You can see the dogs surrounding Michael, getting ready to attack.

This is another built in bookcase. I love this and all the stuff I can put away in it.

I didn't put any pictures of our bedroom, bathroom, or other bedrooms because those are still works in progress. Technically the entire house is still a work in progress, but we're happy with where we're at right now. Hopefully if we stick to our budget and save, we can afford an awesome bedroom make over. That's a maybe though. I'm just so grateful that we finally got a place to call our home where our kiddem's can call home as well (once those nightmares start coming... which isn't any time soon). I'm so happy that moving isn't something we have to dread in the future anymore, at least for a long, LONG time. I can't tell you how sick I am of moving... even thinking about it makes me want to kill a butterfly. 

The best thing I've learned about this entire experience: the best things worth having are never easy to get (or keep). 

Amen to that. The best things I have in my life right now: 

1. My religion
2. My family 
3. My home  


Sunday, September 23, 2012

Wells Fargo

This isn't about them... at least not completely. They've just been on my mind so often, I thought I'd dedicate my hate to them.

Anywho, the other day I scheduled Luke and Leia to get their yearly shots, and for some reason I scheduled it for the same day and time. Chewy can't be left by himself, so instead of rescheduling, I decided that I should just take all of them. By myself. Smart right?

On my list of brilliant ideas... taking them ALL to the vets by myself was on the bottom. Of the stupid idea list. I had to have the staff help me bring them in and hold them while I ran and tried to either pull or pick up one of the others. Leia and Chewy peed on my vet and her assistant while Luke was all like "OH MY GOSH PEOPLE! OH MY GOSH FLOOR! OH MY GOSH A DOOR STOPPER! I LOVE ALL THINGS!"

I'm not sure who he resembles more, but his love for life and everything in it is not a trait in our family. At least not my side. Basically, now I've learned that if they need to get shots, I need to make three separate appointments. I love them, but it's times like these where I'm just like "WHY IN THE WORLD DO I HAVE THREE LARGE DOGS?!"

I love them though... and I want more.

News on the house:

WE FINALLY SIGNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm absolutely kidding. They cleared us to close last Monday (this is the second time they have said this) and then called us later saying that they needed ONE MORE THING. You know what they need? My foot shoved up...

I'll stop. But seriously, I HATE WELLS FARGO. I had a dream about burning their building down. I watched as it burned, but my dream didn't go into any more detail. Darn. You know it's starting to get bad if you're dreaming about burning their buildings to the ground. The relo company that owns the house said that if we didn't close by last week, that they would put the house on the market again. Our agent called and asked them to extend it and they agreed if we moved to a different bank. Which we did, on Friday. We moved our loan over to Bank of Arkansas and they said they should have everything done by next Saturday. I don't know whether to believe them or not, but the lady we were working with said that she had to take a case from Wells Fargo only that morning as well. I spoke to our agent today (we went to see the house to measure for a fridge. It's still as beautiful as I remember it) and she said that she's heard countless stories of Wells Fargo customers leaving because of their inability to handle mortgages. I'm not surprised. Our agent said that she's going to announce to the 300+ agents in her company to not work with Wells Fargo.

I smiled when I heard that. They just lost a lot of business in NW Arkansas and I just can't feel but a little responsible :). I hope their buildings burn.

Cheward the 3rd

Last Sunday, my baby boy Chew-Chew celebrated his first birthday! My big chug had a fun little party with just his brother and sister (since we don't really know any of the neighbor dogs, and also because Chewy is about 80% bigger than them...). I baked him an awesome peanut butter cake and they were all able to eat some soft food instead of their regular hard food. I bathed him in kisses (mainly because I can't get him in the bathtub to save my life... or I would have actually bathed him) and showered him in affection. He obviously only cared about the cool new food part, but I also know that deep down my baby chug feels loved. For Luke and Leia's birthday I did a "three things you love about them", so here is Chewy's list:

#1. He is protective of his mommy.
Nothing flatters me more than watching him crowd around me at the dog park and growl at any dogs that come near me. He also does that to Luke and Leia... but that's more annoying than cute. But what can I say? The baby boy loves his mommy!

(Ignore Luke... he didn't understand what "move" meant)

#2. He's fat.
I just love how chunky he is. I think that's what makes him so stinking cute: he's fat and he's proud. I love watching him on walks because even though he's big, he trots when he walks. It's the funniest thing. And he's so proper when he does it. He lifts his tail up in the air and his huge paws are just trotting up the road. He pulls... but we're still working on that.

#3. He's hilarious.
Out of the three, he's the funniest to watch. My favorite thing is when his flappy cheek gets stuck on a tooth so he looks like he's half growling. Sometimes he'll just stare at me that way and I just have a laughing fit because of how silly he looks. He's also a menace to Leia. Everyday when I get home and let them in, him and Leia deck it out. She'll jump on our bed and Chewy will just stand in front of her and bark. He'll do that until she reacts and when she does, he usually runs away and slams into something. A couple of times that "something" was me... but you just learn to live with 100+ pounds being thrown at you.

I love my Chew and I'm grateful that he is my baby boy to love and to squeeze. 

 Baby Boy

 His awesome cake. I tried it... it tasted like crap.

 A true candid of our life. Leia is ALWAYS in my face, Luke is doing his own thing, and Chewy is just like "When can I have my cake mom?"

He's being such a patient boy while Mommy wastes time with pictures.

I, of course, had to emasculate him with an awesome and pretty blue twisty thing! 

Luckily no one was hurt or injured during the consumption of cake.


Wednesday, September 12, 2012


No, this isn't going to be spiritual, sorry y'all.

And by y'all, I mean "you all".

Anywho, I was going to wait to blog when we finally closed on our house, but WE HAVEN'T CLOSED ON OUR HOUSE.

We were supposed to close the end of June... but I don't think Wells Fargo owns any calendars because it's freakin September. I keep hearing "Oh, we'll close this week" and then the week goes by and no one is asking me to sign anything. I'm probably on the verge of committing murder, but luckily for Wells Fargo I'm too poor to fly out there to burn them alive on a stake. I hope to one day maybe just ruin their company, but I just don't have the energy. They're lucky I'm lazy.

The past couple of months have been a blur really. All we've been doing is waiting for our house to close, working, yard work, dog work, some sleeping (maybe), Michael probably got sick... oh wait no I did, more working, and we visited DC for a weekend for Ale's Sweet 15! I took tons of pictures, but on their camera, so I'll probably never see them since they never know where the cord is. The party was a lot of fun though, and Michael and I had a great time. I danced like an idiot with old friends, ate a TON of cheese, watched Mariachi's play, and got to visit with people I hadn't seen in years. It was so nice to drive around, even though we were only there for maybe 2 days total. Ale looked beautiful and elegant which is weird because I don't think I've ever seen her in anything other than soccer shorts. I also got caught up with everything soccer, thanks to her giving me play by plays of the past 35 matches. She didn't really, but the point I'm trying to make is she talks about soccer too much.

Apart from all of that boringness, the only thing exciting that's coming up is CHEWIE'S BIRTHDAY!!! Can you believe my little fatty fat is turning one!? I found this picture of him on my computer the other day of when we first got him:

How cute is my chunk-a-chunk!? He's so little and fluffy; his little tongue sticking out. I tried to get Chewie to sit the same way so that I could get a good "before and after" picture, but this is all he gave me:

Basically he's grown a lot and is really fat. And extremely cute. And smelly... but cute. I love my Chew-Chew and I can't wait to celebrate his first birthday on Sunday!

Hopefully soon I can finally blog about our new house... hopefully.

Friday, August 3, 2012


We just paid over $100 to get Chewy shaved... and this is what we got:

                                        Before                                                                       After

You think the pictures suck? So do I. PHONES DON'T HAVE GREAT CAMERAS! If you agree with me, please contact 479-621-3818 (Michael's cell phone) and tell him how we need to buy a camera. Basically Chewy looks like a great dane/black lab mix. It's hilarious and I've been making fun of him for a day now.

Anywho, the Olympics started so I've been fabulously obsessed :). I have claimed our I-PAD for the next couple weeks so that I can catch up with it at work. My goal is to go to an Olympics. I know, most people say they want to be in the Olympics, but I've read what those freaks do to get there... and no thanks. I like doughnuts too much and I'd rather sit with all the other fat people in the crowd. Along with being beautifully overweight, I currently have two boyfriends: Ryan Lochte and Matt Anderson. Oh, Michael is still the love of my life... but a girls gotta have some eye candy on the side right? Anyways, the point is they're beautiful and fun to watch on TV while Michael is beautiful and fun to watch at home. Win Win for me. 

The Arkansas heat has been miserable, making me miss the Utah dry weather. BUT, some awesome things have happened:

#1. We went to Red Lobster one night with Michael's co-worker Kassie and her fiance Joel, and in the middle of our meal, the lights went out! They never came back on, so we got our meal for free and had some free cheesecake to top our meal off.

#2. We went to some pizza place (I'm not a fan of it... and we keep ending up there...), and when we were there with Michael's co-workers (Kassie and Joel were there and we decided to split a pizza), they dropped our pizza and had to start a new one, meaning that we got our food for free again! I love eating with Kassie and Joel.

#3. I went to get a snack today at work with my co-worker Jose and when we were downstairs waiting to order, the guy in front of me asked me what I was going to order. I told him I was just going to get a muffin, but he asked me to get something else... so I got a fruit smoothie AND a muffin. He paid for me, and didn't get anything for himself. Weird? Yes. Awesome? Double yes.

Did all my awesome things include food? Of course... I just talked about how much I love food above. Some not so awesome things:

#1. Our closing date has been pushed back 2 weeks so we wont be in our house for another couple weeks.

See how it doesn't involve food? That's what makes it suck. And I guess also the fact that I can't move into my awesome house. But mainly because no food is involved.

I'm on my period, so all I've been thinking about is food.

... just in case you can't tell.

I dedicate these to myself:

Funny story with this last pin... this is Luke to the core. He gets on our bed at 6:00 AM sharp, EVERYDAY. And not only does he get on the bed, but he paws my face and neck until I respond. Last Saturday I almost killed him, but as soon as I look into his cute little face, I melted and punched him with my lips. If Michael woke me up, I would probably just punch him.

Yay for husbands!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012


So you're probably all wondering, "Why is this post called 'Nipple'?" Well, let me tell you.

Michael and I were enjoying a normal afternoon after work. The pups were chillin', and I was getting ready to make dinner (yes, you read that correctly. I, Paola Black, was going to make dinner). As I'm getting the stove and crap ready, I look over at Luke and his ear is flipped up. I notice that it's super red and I go over to check him out and his ear is nasty red and swollen with nasty thick, white pus coming out of it (your welcome if you were eating while reading that). I check his other ear, and it seems fine, but I panic anyways and run to Michael in tears about how my dog is dying.

Michael, being the reasonable and level-headed spouse, checked out his ear and confirmed that it was nasty and infected. Well, while he was rubbing him to make him feel better, he felt something on his stomach and told me to check it out while he held Luke down. I go in and it looks like something black is sticking out of his stomach, so my first reaction is to scream and cry about how something is inside of him, eating him alive. Michael, rolling his eyes, checks on it and then tells me to get tweezers because he thinks it's a tick or something. Well, I go grab the tweezers and then Michael and I attempt to take that mother freakin nasty bug out of my baby boy.

No luck. The stupid thing is stubborn, and when we keep trying, it kept digging itself in his poor little stomach. After about a minute, I'm really freaking out and we call to find out where the emergency animal hospital is. Luckily, it's only a mere 30 minutes away! Waahooo!!! (please note the sarcasm).

When we finally get to the emergency hospital, they take my baby boy and start looking at him, but we can't actually be there to watch so I'm sitting in the waiting room, watching some stupid MTV show. Finally, after horrible suspense, the vet calls us into a room and brings him back. The vet comes in and starts talking about his ear infection and how Luke needs meds and I'm just like, "SHUT UP! WHAT ABOUT THE PARASITE THAT'S DIGGING INTO HIS BRAIN!?!?!??!" I didn't actually say anything, but i felt all that.

When the vet finally gets to the point of the creepy crawly, he's tells us that he couldn't find it, but that it sounds like he has something really bad and that if we popped it or burst the mother freaker, Luke could go into shock. You can imagine how I reacted...

Anywho, so the vet goes back and tries to find the nasty thing again, and we sit there and wait. This time he doesn't take too long coming back, and he brings Luke with him. Here is what he said: "You were actually ripping out his nipple".



I almost ripped my dogs nipple out.

The end.