Lately I have been SUPER moody and really irritated (yes, that's possible). Unfortunately, the poor souls who read my blog have had to go through my rantings about how I either want to kill someone or hurt them close to killing them. Let me make this clear: I have never killed anyone. And I probably won't. Unless you hurt my dogs (Michael you can hurt, but I would feel sorry for you because he can bend you in half and break you).
Anywho, so today I want to talk about how much I love my body. Hahaha, you're probably thinking "Wow, she's stuck up". Or maybe you always think that. W/e. This morning I actually got up and took my dogs on a walk/run to help Leia out with her anxiety (the internet told me that more exercise should help... we'll see). While near the end of the walk my stomach started to hurt HORRIBLY. I was due for my period (sorry to anyone out there with a weak stomach), so I got scared because the pain resembled the pain I use to feel in High School whenever I got my period.
So here I am, 6:20 AM struggling to get home. The funny thing about this is I was only half a block from my house, but when you're in THAT much pain, every step feels like an eternity. So as I'm walking, I start to throw up everywhere. And by everywhere, I really do mean everywhere. Sidewalk, road, people's front yards, a car I think.... it got nasty. The nastiest part though, I had to drag my dogs away from the throw up because they would lick it off the road (or off my face...). I finally got home, got up stairs, and just worked hell on my poor toilet. I called Michael to help me out, but poor guy has never been through one of these episodes. And he was half awake. Well I finally get the mental ability to take some hard core cramp medicine and I lay down on the ground with my heating pad on full blast. Let me just tell you, it's in those moments, where the pain just doesn't feel like it will stop and where the pain is so intense you consider shooting yourself in the foot, that you realize what real strength is. I'm not considering myself a super strong person physically (I whine going up stairs), but I do think that I am mentally strong and I'm grateful for the times that make me that way.
After the whole episode (which lasted about 30 minutes), I sat on the ground feeling 200% better. Honestly, anything after that would have been 200%, but w/e. I felt great, and I LOVE my body! I may not have tight, sexy abs or nice toned legs. Heck, my arms can lift me if the wind blows fast enough, but my body is still amazing. It lets me do so much and makes it possible for me to live the life I live. I can play with my puppies in the backyard, run outside with them, go hiking outside in beautiful Utah. I can work and do what they require of me (hopefully...). I can speak with relative ease (unless I'm excited). I can see funny shows and beautiful scenery. I can hear good music and funny jokes. I can feel my husband when he gives me a hug. I can smell his amazing cooking. I'm not ever in pain, unless I'm exercising, but that's different. I can eat awesome food and not worrying about getting sick from it.
I hate being sick. I hate being strapped down to a bed in pain. I love my body for making it possible for me to do the things I love and I hope that when and if I have daughters, that they love their body for what it can do, not for what it looks like.