Thursday, April 26, 2012

Nitrous Gas

Two things that should NEVER be mixed together:

Michael

and

Nitrous Gas

Yesterday, Michael had to get some cavities filled and I completely forgot about the effects of nitrous gas they give you at dentist's offices (the ones right next to the Provo Library). He called me and sounded like those videos on youtube with the kids that just got their wisdom teeth out. It was hilarious, and I'm surprised he made it to campus without getting hit by a car. I kept telling him that I was going to pick him up, but he kept saying, "No, no, I'll look BOTH ways before I cross, Paola!... BOTH WAYS!". I'm pretty sure I face palmed myself a ton yesterday.

I lied to Michael and told him that I would wait in my office, but instead I walked/ran to meet him at the edge of campus next to the RB stairs. I called him again to see where he was and he kept saying that people were looking at him weird... I told him that it was probably because he was yelling and his jaw was numb so he sounded "special". He just giggled and kept saying that people were looking at him weird. *face palm*

I finally met up with him on the edge of campus next to the RB stairs and he looked at me and yelled, "You LIED! I knew you were lying! You're such a liar!". Of course he was yelling this while a ton of students were walking by. Anywho, I led him back to my office with him yelling about how much of a liar I was haha.

When we finally reached my office, I told him to sit down and not say anything. He decided it would be fun to play with his tongue, so he kept sticking it out and wiggling it around. Then he kept yelling about how he was drooling and how he couldn't feel his tongue. My co-workers Melba and Becky were laughing while Michael giggled with his tongue sticking out. I kept telling him to put his tongue back in his mouth, but he kept replying with, "I CAN'T FEEL IT!". *face palm*

I decided that I didn't want students seeing him like this, especially since they're coming into the Honor Code Office, so I stuck him in the back room to play on the computer. He refused to sit down and kept sticking his tongue out at me. He then decided that he had enough of the office and ran out. I had to chase him down and persuade him to come back inside. I never realized how big he was until I had to pull and push him back into my office. He kept telling me how boring it was and how he couldn't feel his jaw. *face palm*

I finally got him to sit down and not saying anything and I told him that if he sat quietly for 15 minutes then I would let him go talk to his counselor. He sat down for about 5 minutes and then kept telling me how he wanted to leave. Linda, my boss, finally came out from talking to Larry, the director, and I told Michael not to say anything and not to be rude. As soon as he saw her, he yelled, "Linda! Paola told me not to say anything rude! She thinks I'm going to say something rude!". Linda already knew Michael was kind of loopy (before I left I interrupted her lunch and told her that Michael was on campus high on drugs....), so she just laughed and wanted to find a camera. I wish we had one. Anywho, Michael decides that he wants to talk to Linda so he walks up to her desk and starts looking at all her pictures. All of Linda's children are adopted, and her one daughter who is half black has 3 adorable grand-kids. Anywho, because her daughter is half black, her children all have frizzy hair. Michael saw a picture of Linda's grand kids, looked at Linda, and then commented, "Wow Linda, you're children are really frizzy." *face palm*

Linda took everything in stride and just laughed at him. I explained to his intoxicated mind that those were Linda's grandchildren and that they obviously had frizzy hair because they were half black. Michael pondered that for a second and said, "Oh, that makes sense. They're too young to be your kids." Omgsh... completely missed the mark with the whole race thing, but at least he got something right?

Anywho, he finally sat back down and returned to sticking his tongue out at everyone. When the time limit I set was finally done, I told him he could leave. I begged him not to talk to anyone but his counselor and he promised he wouldn't....

An hour later and returns to my office whole, and the drug seemed to have lifted a little. He thankfully didn't harass anyone or tell anyone inappropriate comments about their children.  

Lesson learned from this: NEVER let Michael go to the dentist office alone. 

He told me how when they were giving him pure oxygen to calm the effects of the drug, he held his breath so that the effects would linger longer.

Another lesson learned: Michael can do really stupid things, but I still love him to pieces.

1 comment:

  1. Bahaha, this is hilarious! I wish I could witness more of this in my office. :)

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